Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
