using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
