I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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