I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
