just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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