watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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