i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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