There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
