sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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