I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
