I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
