hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
