it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
