Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
