When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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