woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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