Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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