Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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