he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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