Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
