spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
