seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
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I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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