I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
