butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
