i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
