What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
