And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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