Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
