okay pat passed out under dana's car
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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