That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
