Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
