3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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