she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
