my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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