why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
