I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
