no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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