whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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