I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
