That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
