She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
