It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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