Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I have demons in me.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
