I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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