why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
