do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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