I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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