you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
