you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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