Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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