Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
