Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
my poor anus
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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