One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
