It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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