Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
