she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
