have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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