his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
